Plum chutney

Polish fruit picker (Stasio)

Yesterday Barnaby and Stasio helped Ollie harvest the cherry plums from our tree and so today is chutney making day. This year we have a bumper crop, so I'm quadrupling the recipe. I'm also mixing and matching several recipes as I want to include plums, cooking apples, Spanish onions and raisins. This means that, according to one recipe, I have accidentally added double the amount of sugar I need, although, according to another recipe, I should be OK. I am also slightly dubious about the amount of vinegar I am supposed to use, so have reduced this. I may end up with burnt, sour toffee. Ollie asked what I'd do if it turned out wrong. My response was that Kerry will eat it anyway.

Hubble bubble

Plum chutney ingredients

• 4kg plums, de-stoned
• 1.4 kg cooking apples
• 1.1kg Spanish onions
• 1.4kg raisins
• 1.4kg soft brown sugar
• 1.25 litres cider vinegar

Chutney spice mix ingredients

2 cinnamon sticks
6 dried red chillies

6 teaspoons allspice berries

2 teaspoons cloves

6 teaspoons coriander seeds

4 teaspoons black peppercorns

How to make plum chutney

1. As you de-stone the plums, chop them roughly.
   This is an extremely tedious job that takes forever. I have tried leaving the stones in and removing after the chutney is cooked, but, on balance, I think de-stoning before cooking is quicker. At least you can do this while you sit in front of the TV.
2. Put the stoned plums in a very large preserving pan. 
3. Peel, core and chop the apples and add to the pan. Don't worry if they go brown before they get in the pan as everything will turn to a brown mush as it cooks anyway.
4. Peel and roughly chop the onions and add to the pan.
5. Add the dried chilies and cinnamon sticks to the pan.
6. Place the rest of the spices in a piece of muslin and tie together. Add this to the pan.
7. Bring everything to the boil, stirring occasionally to prevent it sticking to the bottom of the pan and burning.
8. Reduce to a gentle simmer, and cook till thick, stirring regularly to prevent burning. 
9. BE VERY CAREFUL WHEN STIRRING! The chutney will be very hot and have a tendency to bubble. It’s actually a bit like stirring a cauldron. I usually reduce the temperature right down before giving it a stir to avoid getting splashed with the boiling goo.
10. Once the chutney is thick, leave it to cool and pot into sterilized jars while still warm, remembering to fish out the cinnamon sticks and dried chilies.
    Sterilizing jars is easy - if you have a dishwasher then just put them through a cycle and leave in the dishwasher till dry. If you don't, like me, just wash in very hot soapy water, rinse in hot water and then place upside down in a cold oven. Switch it on and heat to 100 degrees, then switch off. Leave the jars in the oven till you are ready to use them. Wash lids in hot soapy water, rinse, and leave on a rack to dry.

Toil and trouble

The chutney should take about 3 or 4 hours to reach the right consistency. However, I started cooking mine at about 1pm today and it is still not ready at 6.30pm. In fact, I don't think it has reduced at all in the last hour. Maybe it was a mistake to add that extra 250ml vinegar halfway through. I think I need to increase the temperature or I will be up all night. 



I still have 2 large bowls of stoned fruit to use up and another bowl yet to be stoned. I think the jam I intend to make will have to wait for tomorrow night. I found a recipe which involves sprinkling the sugar over the plums and leaving overnight. I have no idea what this is supposed to do but think I will give it a go.

Potting chutney is a sticky business that takes longer than you think. Invariably some dribbles down the site of the jars which need wiping clean before labelling and storing. Leave the chutney for at least a month, longer if possible, before eating. I actually don't give out unmature chutney anymore as some people don't wait till its ready before they eat it (you know who you are).

Rhubarb chutney

I went up North for the first half of the Jubilee weekend to see my family, and came back with a big bag of rhubarb someone from my mum’s school gives her every week. She already has a freezer full of the stuff and is getting pretty sick of it so asked if I had any ideas of what to use it for. I took some off her hands to make into chutney.

Rhubarb

Having trawled recipe sites for about an hour I’ve decided to come up with my own version of rhubarb chutney.

I’ve never made rhubarb chutney before but imagine it will be just to my taste, since I love the tartness of this fruit in a crumble. Some pieces look beautiful – like sweeties – but stripping off the vivid pinky-red string leaves most of them looking pale green and uninteresting. An hour or so in the chutney pan does even more damage – the result is a brown mush that looks completely unappetising. Despite this I have great hopes for this chutney, but will have to wait at least a month to find out if I’m right.

Rhubarb chutney

Rhubarb chutney ingredients

• 1.15kg rhubarb
• 500g raisins
• 3 medium onions
• 500ml cider vinegar
• 450g soft brown sugar (I ran out and used about 75g demerara sugar with the rest soft brown
• This much ginger (butter for comparison)

Ginger, about the length of a packet of butter

OK, if you insist, it was about 25g

• 5 cloves
• 1 tablespoon coriander seeds
• 1 tablespoon black peppercorns

How to make rhubarb chutney

  

1. Chop the rhubarb into short pieces 

 

2. Roughly chop the onions

3. Put everything in a very large pan - preferably a preserving pan
4. Bring to the boil then simmer for about 3 hours, till the chutney is thick
5. Turn off the heat and allow the chutney to cool slightly
5. Pot into sterilized jars while still warm

 

Salmon noodle salad

We've moved offices to the middle of the A4 and there's nowhere to go for lunch except the on-site cafe and the World's Biggest Tescos. Now lunch for free at work is not just a philosophy but a necessity. 

I've become Salad Director for our newly formed Salad Club. Even though I hate the use of capital letters in job titles I take this role very seriously.

Salad club: Kate, Peggy, Courtney, Yuki, Danielle, me. Not in the photo: Leanne (taking the photo), Erik

 

Its amazing how many contraindications there are with just eight people: onions, Kosher, coriander (afflicts a surprisingly high proportion of Salad Club members), salad-intolerence...

We settled on salmon noodle salad with coriander as an optional garnish. 

Salmon noodle salad ingredients

Serves 8

• Salmon fillets, x6, marinaded and cooked (see below)
• 1 cucumber thinly sliced
• Grated carrots
• Red and orange peppers, thinly sliced
• Cashew nuts
• Beansprouts
• Spinach, 1 bag
• Vermicelli rice noodles 
• Salad dressing (see below)

Salmon marinade ingredients 

Marinade the salmon in the following for 20-30 mins

• 1.5 JOT* (ginger, peeled and grated)
• 4 cloves garlic, crushed or finely chopped
• 4 tablespoons soy sauce (I used dark, as this was all I had, though light would be better)
• 2 tablespoons tamarind paste
• Juice 2 limes

*Jamie Oliver's thum, the IM unit for ginger. 

How to cook the salmon 

1. Heat the oven to the Magic Number (190C fan assisted). Bake the salmon for 10-12 minutes.
2. I'm a bit fussy about slimy fish. After 10 minutes I thought the salmon was a little too opaque so gave it a couple more minutes.
   Bear in mind though that it will cook a little more once out of the oven, and also in the lime dressing. 
3. Once cool enough to handle, gently break the salmon up and flake into pieces.
4. Store in a tupperware container overnight.

Salad dressing ingredients

Add the following to a screw-cap jar and shake well. You will need to give it another vigorous shake before serving.

• Juice 2 limes
• 2 tablespoons sesame oil
• 4 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 1 teaspoon chilli jam or sweet chilli sauce
• Dash fish sauce*

*only needed if it tastes a bit too sweet 

How to make salmon noodle salad

1. Tell everyone to assemble at the allocated time with their ingredients already prepared. 
2. Help yourself to everything, add a little dressing, and eat at a communal table. 

NOTES:

• It is every member of Salad Club's responsibility to bring and prepare their own ingredient. 
• The Director and Deputy Director of Salad Club are happy to give prep advice if needed up to 5 minutes before the arranged salad club time.